Day 6 : About Life

Being depressed without knowing is dangerous.

2 years ago,I remember I crashed my car 2 times in one month. My dad was crazy.The first time I crashed I remember that my first thought was : "I hope the car is okay"
The second time : "oh god...this time is gonna be expensive" Even though I hit my head with the glass and my neck was hurting like hell..to be honest I couldn't care less about me.

When I recovered I felt more alive (annoyingly alive) funny how we feel like that after something literally hits you. At school I didn't do my homework. At house...I don't even remember what I used to do. Just staying in bed all day sleeping was okay for me. & when my friends called me to invite me to go out I always had an excuse to decline the invitation "oh i'm sorry I have work to do"

I stopped using makeup...I wore just oversized pijamas & most of the money I got I used to spend it on food. I looked around just with envy. "ugh! everyone is happy nowdays"

My mom always asked me why I always was so serious...I just looked at her with a frown. I wasn't being serious I was just...dull.

So at christmas while everyone was happy and hugging each other, the only thing that was in my head was the idea of start over: "new year is coming...maybe everything is gonna change"

With new year came a thing called hope.

I never thought about killing myself.I was just not living nor surviving. Suriving mens that even if the world is against you,you want to keep on going; but me...I was just breathing.

Weeping all night hoping the tears would wash away my worries a new year began.

& now I'm okay.
The urge of do new stuff, create projects & make plans was overwhelming.
Still is.
Is never to late to cheer up.

About Life & other Tragedies- Plans

Long time ago I made some plans. 2012 was not the deadline.I just made plans according to other stuff. Like: "when i finish school I'm gonna do this & that"

Well this & that are not gonna be possible (cheers for that!)

About Life & other Tragedies- Don't look back

I always carry my journal everywhere. One time my friend took it & a pic of me fell to the floor. The pic was missing the other half.In that half used to be one person who made of my life a living hell.But that's not the point.

About Life & Other Tragedies - Cheater Eater

If you need a role model don't wait more. After you read this you gonna have one.
This is the story of someone I met. I'm avoiding names.

You'll see, all started the other day. I was just laying in the couch,having a lovely time & thinking about well...that's not the point. The point is, We got a visit (my mom & I ). This lady (because I hangout with 40-60 years old women lately) started to tell to me & my mom (obviously) a short version of her life this last year.& it goes like this: