Day 6 : About Life

Being depressed without knowing is dangerous.

2 years ago,I remember I crashed my car 2 times in one month. My dad was crazy.The first time I crashed I remember that my first thought was : "I hope the car is okay"
The second time : "oh god...this time is gonna be expensive" Even though I hit my head with the glass and my neck was hurting like hell..to be honest I couldn't care less about me.

When I recovered I felt more alive (annoyingly alive) funny how we feel like that after something literally hits you. At school I didn't do my homework. At house...I don't even remember what I used to do. Just staying in bed all day sleeping was okay for me. & when my friends called me to invite me to go out I always had an excuse to decline the invitation "oh i'm sorry I have work to do"

I stopped using makeup...I wore just oversized pijamas & most of the money I got I used to spend it on food. I looked around just with envy. "ugh! everyone is happy nowdays"

My mom always asked me why I always was so serious...I just looked at her with a frown. I wasn't being serious I was just...dull.

So at christmas while everyone was happy and hugging each other, the only thing that was in my head was the idea of start over: "new year is coming...maybe everything is gonna change"

With new year came a thing called hope.

I never thought about killing myself.I was just not living nor surviving. Suriving mens that even if the world is against you,you want to keep on going; but me...I was just breathing.

Weeping all night hoping the tears would wash away my worries a new year began.

& now I'm okay.
The urge of do new stuff, create projects & make plans was overwhelming.
Still is.
Is never to late to cheer up.

Day 5: Trova nights

This time I have an odyssey.
My sister invited me to a trove night at the park & obviously I said 'yes! Let's go'
So I was wearing the most flapper outfit I could find ( no, wait that's not the point) My sister & her boyfriend paid for everything ( actually the one who wanted to go to the trove night was her boyfriend ) We were on the queue & all of a sudden the people said the ticket would cost much more, thank good my sister had some money too but some people decided not to go inside (for real it was ridiculous! The ticket was 4 dlls & the cost changed to 10 dlls including babies & kids! Is a bloody park with no seats for gods' sake!)

I'm sooo late with posts

But I'm waiting for the photos
& a lot of things happened
Nothing amazing
But I'm writing down everything okay
The project is still on!
Woo hoo!

Day 4: 'Yes' is the answer

'Yes' is always the answer was one of the main points of this Zelda's summer
So my dad told me: 'I need to do some errands, do you want to join me?'

Just a thought...

I was watching the horizon full of houses trough the car's window, while the fresh air and the cloudy sky took their tool on me.
& I started to wonder: with so many people in one city & almost infinite people around the world...

how am I going to find you?

Day 3: Flapper

Flapper where woman who fight to get the right to vote
so what did I did?
I went out I did vote.

the problem is: a lot of women now have air inside their heads
But I still have hope.

Day 2: a fever you can't sweat out

I was kind of sleeping when my mom knocked at my door.
It was 2 am.
My mom was scared and she jous touched my forehead and said: you have fever
I was like: fever?
Then she gave me a pill and a glass of water
I didn't even asked what kind of pill it was I just swallowed it
She left my bedroom door open so she could check my temperature
I fell asleep

& now I feel okay.